I started on this journey as a way to combat suicidal depression. I personally don’t talk to the people in my life about this, other than my best friend who I go to when it gets at its worst. I am just not the type of person who likes sympathy, or really attention of any kind. I am naturally shy and friendly at the same time. I am not at all saying that is a good way to handle depression, but it is my story.
You might assume I don’t talk about it because of shame, but really I am not ashamed of my challenge because I know it is not my fault. I have a couple of conditions that lead to low oxygen and therefore to a tendency to depression. My core personality is upbeat, positive, and kind. So depression is not my fault, but it is my problem, and I am therefore responsible for dealing with it.
I know I am not alone in this battle. Statistics say 1 in 4 people have suffered or do suffer from it. I would say the numbers are probably higher. I also know there are other more difficult battles out there.
Dealing with something like this gives me empathy and helps me to not judge other people for the way they go through their life. So it is not all bad.
I am a programmer, which affects the way I look at everything. I understand that our subconscious minds are run by an internal program, and that in my case there is always a negative program trying to hijack my operating system. It is my job to control my daily program with programming of my choice so that other program cannot take over. I have created habits that fill my day with positive, uplifting, forward moving thoughts. On the difficult days, habit moves me along into a better place.
I don’t feel a need to live up to other people’s expectations or accomplishments because I know what I am accomplishing in fighting my own battles. Some days, it is a huge success to still be here. Other days I live a very normal life. And I don’t feel the need to judge others because I don’t know their battles.
My story could be the hidden story of anyone you meet, which is a good reason to extend grace to other people. You just never know.
But this isn’t just about depression, or any other challenge, although that is a part of it. I am very interested in personal growth, and these habits leads down that path as well.
My hope is that my journey will help others with their own journey to personal development, and no matter your challenge, lead you to fewer bad days.